Dis is the first tym ever in my life i cried real bad and in fact cnt stop myself from crying juz bcz sumone who meant alot to me went off wif sumone else .. I wasnt expecting dis at all .. I ever once tot about him having a relationship wif sumone else and dats the reason he changed .. But i managed to throw dat tot away coz i believe he wont do dat .. But today i got to noe i was wrong .. And my tot was ryte .. I should have listened to my frst instinct and asked him from the very beginning wen he changed .. At least i wuldnt feel real bad like wad im feeling ryte now .. Im not understanding myslf ryte here .. I noe i got no feelings for him at the beginning .. But as days goes by maybe dat feeling developed wen i owaes tot bout him .. Well i have to admit dat i fall in love wif sumone easily .. Im easily touched by wad dey do to me even the smallest ting .. And the fact dat i fall in love easily, i get hurt easily too and same goes to dis, even the smallest ting can hurt me .. And i noe i have fallen for him soo wen i heard bout dat news definitely im crushed! .. And the worst part was i was having performance wen i heard bout the news .. Damn my face was a wreck .. My eyes got soo swollen from the crying and no matter how i try to smile i juz simply cant .. not even faking it .. But thank god on the actual performance i managed to throw my sadness aside and focus on my performance .. Or else i will definitely ruin evryting ..
I can accept it but i guess i need a whole lot of time to heal dis heart .. Especially wen i have to see the gurl's face every lecture and knowing dat she's the one who got his heart instead of me .. I will definitely have a lot of hell trying to forget him .. Seeing the gurl's face will onli bring evryting bck to me even if i manage to forget it .. Why do i have to have dis heart who falls for people easily? .. I hated being me!! .. If im firm wif my own feelings i wuldnt have gotten hurt lyk dis .. Instead i wuld have hurt sumone .. But hell no .. Each time i got hurt .. And i have to say dis is the 2nd time .. 2 times consequtively! .. I aint strong .. I have had it wif boys .. No more miss nice lady .. Im officially closing my heart .. I cant bear to go thru dis shit one more time .. Im onli reserving me heart for him no matter wad .. I dont care! .. Der's owaes god who's der to help me and i will pray hard for me to get him bck .. Call me desperate, call me wadevr u wan coz im onli doing dis in a legal way .. Its onli by praying to god and i noe its not a wrng ting to do .. Im not even doing anyting bad here ..