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Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
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Di bawah kolong langit ini

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Dan dunia menjadi saksinya
Untuk apa kita membuang-buang waktu
Dengan kata-kata perpisahan

Demi cinta kita aku akan menjaga
Cinta kita yang telah kita bina
Walau hari terus berganti hari lagi
Cinta kita abadi selamanya

Dis is the first tym ever in my life i cried real bad and in fact cnt stop myself from crying juz bcz sumone who meant alot to me went off wif sumone else .. I wasnt expecting dis at all .. I ever once tot about him having a relationship wif sumone else and dats the reason he changed .. But i managed to throw dat tot away coz i believe he wont do dat .. But today i got to noe i was wrong .. And my tot was ryte .. I should have listened to my frst instinct and asked him from the very beginning wen he changed .. At least i wuldnt feel real bad like wad im feeling ryte now .. Im not understanding myslf ryte here .. I noe i got no feelings for him at the beginning .. But as days goes by maybe dat feeling developed wen i owaes tot bout him .. Well i have to admit dat i fall in love wif sumone easily .. Im easily touched by wad dey do to me even the smallest ting .. And the fact dat i fall in love easily, i get hurt easily too and same goes to dis, even the smallest ting can hurt me .. And i noe i have fallen for him soo wen i heard bout dat news definitely im crushed! .. And the worst part was i was having performance wen i heard bout the news .. Damn my face was a wreck .. My eyes got soo swollen from the crying and no matter how i try to smile i juz simply cant .. not even faking it .. But thank god on the actual performance i managed to throw my sadness aside and focus on my performance .. Or else i will definitely ruin evryting ..
I can accept it but i guess i need a whole lot of time to heal dis heart .. Especially wen i have to see the gurl's face every lecture and knowing dat she's the one who got his heart instead of me .. I will definitely have a lot of hell trying to forget him .. Seeing the gurl's face will onli bring evryting bck to me even if i manage to forget it .. Why do i have to have dis heart who falls for people easily? .. I hated being me!! .. If im firm wif my own feelings i wuldnt have gotten hurt lyk dis .. Instead i wuld have hurt sumone .. But hell no .. Each time i got hurt .. And i have to say dis is the 2nd time .. 2 times consequtively! .. I aint strong .. I have had it wif boys .. No more miss nice lady .. Im officially closing my heart .. I cant bear to go thru dis shit one more time .. Im onli reserving me heart for him no matter wad .. I dont care! .. Der's owaes god who's der to help me and i will pray hard for me to get him bck .. Call me desperate, call me wadevr u wan coz im onli doing dis in a legal way .. Its onli by praying to god and i noe its not a wrng ting to do .. Im not even doing anyting bad here ..

Seseorang yang kita fikir adalah milik kita ternyata bukan benar-benar milik kita .. 
Kita memiliki hatinya, tubuhnya dan cintanya tapi kita tidak akan pernah memiliki jalan hidupnya ..

Aku pernah tonton sebuah filem yang pesannya bilang bahawa jika kamu mencintai seseorang maka kamu harus mengatakannya begitu 'moment' itu datang .. Kerna kalau tidak maka 'moment' itu akan  pergi begitu saja dan tidak akan pernah datang lagi ..
Lalu kamu akan menyesal ..

Aku merasa ada yang hilang tanpa tahu apa yang sudah aku temukan ..
Aku merasa menemukan tanpa tahu apa yang aku cari ..
Dan aku seperti masih mencari tanpa tahu apa yang sudah hilang ..


Manusia memiliki mimpi ..
Ada yang mengejar dan mewujudkannya ..
Ada yang mundur dan membuangnya ..
Ada pula yang diam dan hanya menyimpannya sepanjang sisa hidupnya ..
Dan aku .. Aku akan menjadi manusia yang terakhir itu ..


Dia memilikiku di hari kelmarin ..
Kamu memilikiku di hari ini, besok dan seterusnya ..


Tidak ada pertemuan yang abadi ..
Seperti pertemuan, maka perpisahan pun tidak ada yang abadi ..

 

He's such a nice person .. He still bother to reply and ask me wad he normally asked .. I guess tings happen for a reason .. Now i believe he deserve sumone soo much better den me .. He's soo nice, i believe der's sumone out der who's more suitable for him .. Who's able to make him smile all day long .. Sumhow im glad he made the move to make us juz as frends .. Im not the best person to deserve him .. Sumone else who's much more nicer den me, who doesnt have mistakes in the past deserve him much more den i do .. Maybe dats y god made dis path for us .. Coz im such a bad person, i made mistakes in the past, dat i onli deserve the bad ones and not the good ones .. And i accept it .. I regretted for wad i've done and if dis is the way he wants to punish me, i accept it .. I wont go against his will .. Aniwae im still young and i still got a long way to go, many paths to go thru soo i tink im better off dis way .. Rather den i hurt myself once again .. I would rather stay dis way .. Until wen the tym cums and god sends me sumone who's fated for me .. Den i guess dats the tym .. For now i'll juz go thru wad life is for me .. At least i have my dance dat i can totally dedicate my tym to .. Well dats life .. Not evryting u wan u can have .. Soo juz accept and always give and take ..

Dont i matter to u animore? .. Well if u hate me its mind over matter .. I dont mind but however u still matter .. Its fine wif me if u wana hate me for wadever reason u have .. But damn ryte it hurts .. Mainly because u still matter to me .. But im juz an option to u wen i made u as a priority .. In fact my top priority .. How stupid of me to make u as a top priority and ended up im digging my own grave .. Such a a waste of tym .. I feel sorie for u coz im juz wasting ur tym .. Knowing me is juz a waste of tym ryte .. Texting me and calling me is juz a waste of time and money ryte .. I noe u wuld rather prefer doing sumting else rather den to waste ur tym on sumone who's not important in ur life .. U shldnt have replied my message wen i first msged u .. Den maybe tings wuldnt end up like dis .. U wuldnt have noe me and definitely u wuldnt have wasted ur time and money for sure talking to me .. Juz erase my number from ur phonebook for heaven's sake coz its juz a waste of ur memory .. Der's no point to it .. U changed and i noe i will never find the u i saw once .. No matter how or wad i do im sure it aint working .. Maybe instead u find me annoying and tries even harder to get rid of me .. Den i shall help u soo dat u wont have to work hard to get rid of me .. If dats wad makes u hapi .. Coz all i wan is to see u hapi .. And the perfect word for it is SACRIFICE ..

If you're too buy to call, I'll understand ..
If you dont have time to check on me, I'll understand ..
If you're late on our date, I'll understand ..
But if i stop loving you, its your turn to understand .. 
♥

Ouh dear .. Im like seeing him evrywer .. I noe its juz my imagination but evrytime i glance at one person i tot it was him .. but wen i looked straight into dat person i realise it wasnt him .. I hate dis feeling .. I hate seeing somebody else as him .. And i have no idea y im like dis .. Maybe i juz cant accept the drastic chnge in him .. Maybe dats y .. I've been living in dream these few weeks .. Firstly, my dad left me .. And now at the same time he's doing the same ting .. But in his case its abit different coz he left without any reason given to me .. Exactly the same case as my previous date .. I hate it wen guys do dat to me .. Though he clarified and didnt leave me hanging like how my previous date did, but still he didnt gave me the reason y he changed .. He said he got his own problems .. Yeah everybody have their own problems .. Even i have my own problem .. But i didnt change .. My behaviour towards him didnt change even a tiny bit .. But he change alot and i barely noe him now .. Even now wen i wanted to text him i feel like he's a total stranger .. He's not the him i knew once .. I have no idea wads the cause of dis .. Maybe i did sumting wrong to him dat hurt his feelings and thus he changed .. Or was it because ...... I dont noe .. Haizz .. For once i tot he's able to cure dis cut deep down in my heart .. but instead he created an even bigger cut and even deeper den wad i had previously ..