Aku tak sangke hari nie aku jadi org jahat .. Pertame kali aku hilang sabar dgn pesakit aku .. Tak tau knape hari nie rasenye mcm da tk dpt nk sabar dgn perangai nenek tuu lagi .. Agknye slame nie aku da ckp sbr .. Dah tuu die mcm menguji tahap kesabaran aku smpi aku hilang sbr .. Aku rase sebab aku tak sabar lar die mengamok hari nie .. Die maken terok dari hari2 sebelomnye .. Slalunye kalo pn die marah die stakat memekak aje .. Hari nie die marah smpi jadi ganas .. Maen ludah2 lar, maen rejam dgn botol, maen tendang2 .. Mati aku jadi mangse .. Sebab aku halang die nak bgn dari katil die mengamok dah tuu die ludah aku .. Naseb baek aku da pkai apron for protection .. Kene kt apron, tk kene baju .. Kalo kene baju aku mmg aku maki nenek tuu abes abesan .. Pegi mati lar die org tue ker ape ker .. Kalo da smpi mcm gini mmg kene tegas dgn die .. Marah kalo perlu .. Dah tuu tkp .. Da abes ludah die tak puas hati sebab aku maseh halang die bgn dari katil, die amek botol die nak rejam aku .. Asl aku dtg dkt die die da nak rejam aku dgn botol tuu .. Naseb baek tk kene .. Padehal aku stakat nak halang die jadi die tk jatoh .. Kalo die jatoh mmg tuu die pnye pasal lar .. Yang saket pon die kn .. Tapi kn menyusahkan sume org .. Nnt kene buat report lar, nnt kene marah dgn nursing officer lar .. Die ckp senang lar, kalo jatoh, mati, tanam .. Tapi yang sengsare kite sume .. Yang kene tanggung nnt kite sume .. Lps tuu die maseh degel nak bgn jgk, die kene halang, die tendang kaki aku .. Kurang ajr btol org tue nie .. Tak ckp dgn tuu sume die maki2 aku .. Ckp aku nie sial lar, anak sundal, maki aku puki lar .. Sial btol org tuu nie .. Btol pnye menguji kesabaran .. Tuu kalo die maseh mude mmg aku da sepak muke die da .. Maki2 org sembarangan .. Padehal aku buat nie sume untk kebaikkan die ..  Binget sey .. Aku ape lagi takd nak kasi muke pnye .. Aku trs mrh balek die .. Aku lawan balek arh .. Fiker die sape yang sumpah2 aku .. Pegi mampos lar .. Geram btol!!! ..

Astarghfirullahala'zim .. Astargfirullahala'zim .. Astargfirullahala'zim .. Sesungguhnye allah tuu btol2 nak uji kesabaran aku menghadapi org2 tu yang dah nyanyuk .. Ya allah ampunkanlar dose2 aku dkt org tue tuu .. Sesungguhnya hari ini aku tak dpt kawal rase marah aku ini .. Aku khilaf .. 

OMG its soo sad knowing dat he's a gay!! .. With his good looks and charming personality its soo sad dat the fact is he's a gay .. And knowing he was with another gay once and in the relationship, he's the lady ... It hurts me to know dat .. Why must all dis happen ryte now in my millenium?? .. Why are all good looking guys are turning into gays? .. Wads soo gud of being a woman? .. Dont u noe the trouble of being a woman? .. Having to go thru the tym of the month, it aint pleasant .. Having to get pregnant and enduring the pain and agony evry single day and nyte and especially when going to the toilet doing "buisness" .. All those aint a gud experience .. And the fact dat woman have to give birth until their vaginas tore ... Tell me now wads soo gud of being a woman? .. Besides getting to make up and dress up nicely .. Wads soo great of being a woman .. Its not easy being a woman and yet guys out der still wana be a woman .. Hey guys, having breast isnt fun okae .. Evry tym of the mth wen it cums, u experienced breast pain .. U cant evn brisk walk because it will get hurt .. Dont evn tink of running .. Sumtyms it gets really swollen and u experience pain .. And dont get me started wif menstrual cramps .. U cant evn do any work especially the first few days .. Is dat wad u wan? .. If u tink being a woman is juz about make up and dressing up and being pretty, u gays are wrng!! .. Its more den all dat .. Sumtyms tings are evn worse den u gays tink .. Be greatful dat god has created u in a way dat u are now .. Being a man or woman has its own speciality .. If u're changing ur sex with the fact dat deep inside u'r still a guy, it means u'r not appreciating god's gift to u .. Den mayb one day god have to give a wake up call for u to show how much grateful u shld be wif HIS gift .. Not going against wad he created u as .. Yes u can say u have changed a penis into a woman's private part .. But does dat mean u have vagina? .. Does dat mean u will have menses? .. Does dat mean u can have sex? .. NO!! .. Coz u aint have a fucking vagina lyk oder original gurls! .. U can have as many anal sex as u wan .. Coz in the end u will suffer coz u're gonna experience anal traumas or evn bleeding .. And im sure anal sex are way painful den sex btwn man and woman .. Dats y be grateful dat u're a man rather den being created as an animal .. ASSHOLES!!!!!!!

Sesungguhnya allah aje yang tahu ape yang aku buat tuu untuk kebaikkan nenek tuu .. Aku terpakse bohong kt die yang aku nak antar die balek nnt bile aku da abes keje sebab aku taknak die bgn dari katil and jalan balek .. Dalar die tuu high fall risk precaution patient .. And die degil asek nak bgn dari katil sebab nak balek .. Jadi aku terpakse bohong kt die yang aku nak antar die balek lepas keje .. Sampai die menangis sebab die terharu jumpe org mcm aku yang sanggup nak antar die balik .. Tak putus2 die ckp terime kasih kat aku sambil nanges2 .. Aku memang rase serbe salah bile aku tengok die menangis .. Kesian mmg sgt .. Sejak die masok hospital, ank2 die sorang pun tk jengok die .. Sume buat hal masing2 .. Kesian nenek tuu .. Sampai anak org laen die mati2 ckp tuu anak die .. Sampai die terpekik kat dlm hospital panggil2 anak org yang die fiker tuu anak die .. Kesian sgt tgk die .. Tapi ape bleh aku buat .. Bknnye aku knl anak die sape yang aku bleh panggil die dtg jenguk nenek tuu .. Dah tuu lps die nanges2 die ckp kalo nnt aku tkd tmpt nk tggl, die srh aku tggl dgn die sebab aku da baik hati nak antar die balek rumah secare percume .. Lagi aku rase serbe salah .. Rase terharu pon ade .. Kesian sgt kt nenek tuu .. Da berminggu2 die kt hospital satu anak pon tk jengok .. Tuu baru anak .. Kate die, die ade ank angkt jgk .. Tuu pon ank angkt die srng pon tk jengok die .. Tak tau diuntung .. Org tue tuu da jage kau abeh bile die sakit mcm nie satu pon tknk jage die .. Tak sampai hati dibuatnye tgk nenek tuu .. Kdng2 nak buat die ketawe, buat die senang hati tapi asek balik aje yang die fikerkan .. Mcm mane nk buat die ketawe .. Haiz .. Aku cume bleh doakan aje nenek tuu slamat dunie akhirat .. Dan mudah2an allah dpt ampunkan dose aku bohong dgn nenek tuu .. Haizz ...

Binget giler smlm!! .. Binget dgn satu org yg baru aku dpt tau die pn suke favouritism .. Mampos! ..Due2 favouritism .. Ade die tegor aku dpn sume org .. Tertarik2 baju aku .. Fiker aku nie kulit tebal kape? .. Fiker aku tkd rase malu? .. Dah tuu dpn sume org plak tuu .. Nak menyalahkan aku .. Padehal laki die yg buatkn untk aku .. Maseh jgk nk salahkan aku .. Da malu lar tuu konon .. Fiker aku siapkn sendiri padehal laki die yg siapkan .. Kurang ajar ckp aku gemok .. Biar arh aku gemok ker ape ker bknnye aku kacau hidop die .. Yang die nk ssh hati apesal .. Org laen pn gemok apesal die tknk tegor?? .. Ape sebab org laen tuu favourite die? .. Sial kan prangai .. Pegi mampos arh dgn org2 mcm gini ..Fiker sume nak cantik sume nak sempurna .. Abeh kau tuu byk cantik byk sempurna??!!! .. Go to hell lar people .. Nobody is perfect! .. Takde maknenye kau ckp aku gemok .. Pasal laki kau tuu yg siapkn image gemok untk sume org .. Lagi die yg siapkn aku .. Slhkn laki kau lar gitu .. Da lar laki kau buat bnde merepek .. HANJING!!! .. Geram sey aku dgn org2 mcm gini .. *Kepale pisang* btol! .. Buat aku hot aje .. Yang lagi satu jantan nie plak kt dlm satu bilek srh aku diam .. Sial btol .. Padehal die yg tnye asl tk siap lagi .. Dah tuu aku nk jwb apesal die srh aku diam . Konon tmpt tk sesuai nk mengutuk org laen .. Hey sundal, aku bkn nk mengutuk! ..Aku tgh nk explain kt kau apesal aku tk siap2 lagi .. Bodoh pnye jantan .. Skrg baru aku tau org2 nie sume mcm gini .. Baru mcm gini true colours drng da kuar .. Tkp slagi aku bleh sabar aku sabar .. Jgn smpi aku da hilang sabar ..

I juz dont understand wads the purpose for favouritisms .. Not evryone is gud but does dat mean u can judge the person dat he/she isnt gud juz bcz he/she is unable to catch up dat fast? .. Yes u can go ahead and juz favouritize anybody u wan .. Hell yeah i dont bother .. I dont care .. But wen ur favouritism has gone overboard till evryting dat im doing is wrng in ur eyes and blaming me for evryting dat im doing, den i guess evryone noes its too much .. Even a small kid will noe dat it has gone overboard .. Yes i can be patient wif the whole favouritism situation coz i noe wer i stand der .. But evybody have their own limitation to their patience .. And dont let tings happen unexpectantly due to ur own doings .. Coz in the end u will suffer urslf .. Its easy for evryone to say dat u're lyk dat and i hvnt gone thru the worst wif u .. But i dont care .. Hell to wad people wana say .. I freking do not care .. Wen my patience have gone over its limits means it has gone over the limit .. And dont ever let me do tings dat none of us lyk during crucial tyms juz bcz i no longer can stand u .. Soo better tink before u act .. Not evryone is perfect .. Not even urslf .. U're not god ..

Tinking of you evry min, every sec ....
Please cum back ...
Let the old times fill our lives ...
I miss having u beside me ...
I miss the comfort i got from you ...
Ur sweater dat u lend it to me .. I still remember how you looked at me shivering dat nyte .. The moment u asked me to wear urs instead of ur cousin's ..  I still remember how u put it on for me ... How u zip it up for me ...
I wan those hapi tyms to cum back ..
I miss those times being wif you ..
Coz being wif you is the most happiest ting dat has happened in my lfe ..
Cum back ... :'(

After dat dream dat day, i simply cant stop myslf from tinking of him .. After i managed to forget about him and moved on, dat dream made me weak and evryting bout him juz came back into my mind .. It all started all over again .. And wad a luck i had,the following nyte i dreamt bout him again .. If the dream's all about bad tings dat he did to me i guess i wont have to face dis problem because dat will make me to move on easily .. But the fact is my dreams baout him are both sweet tings happening between us .. How am i suppose to forget him and move on then .. Live's never easy for me since i decided to throw him out of my life .. I never wanted it to happen but i dont wana be the fool waiting for him, hoping that sumting might juz happen between us but the fact is he's out der enjoying himself without caring how miserable i am .. It's easy for him to say to me i shouldnt hope too much but the fact is in the beggining he'd oready put dat hope in me wen how nice and sweet he treated me .. If in the beggining he didnt show any interest in me i wouldnt have put any hope dat one day we might juz be together ..And now dis ting have to happen, i have to forget him and move on, it aint easy for me .. its easy for everyone to say "move on .. He's not into you .. Wad for u wana wait for him ...." but deep inside nobody noes how difficult it is for me to juz forget him, to juz move on .. I am still hoping for a miracle to happen one day but im afraid dat im juz living in fantasy and dreams and not waking up to the real world .. Coz in the real world i noe he's not der for me ... Mayb all dis happens coz of my own wrongdoings ... I got a strong feeling bout dat ..