Dont find me!!

I wana run away as far as possible frm evryone ..Dont care weder the person is the one who cares bout me, love me, owaes makes me hapi, owaes makes me sad, owaes makes me disappointed or wadevr it is!! ..Cz i juz feel lyk running away!! ..I reali have given up hope for my future in life ..Basically love have ruin my life ..My love for my frends have ruin my love ..My love for my sumone have ruin my life too ..Cz i love evryone arnd me but wad do i get?? ..A false hope dats fr sure! ..Yes i do get bck a love in return but are dey sincere or shall i say is the love reali for me? ..Cz i dnt feel dat the love is for me ..Instead i feel dat evryone is juz pretending to care about me and pretending to love me bcz dey dnt wana feel bad for me ..I dont need all those bullshit care ..Lets juz might as well live in fairytale land ryte is evryone is pretending ..I wan a true and sincere love dat came frm evryone ..And plz for heaven's sake tell me if u no longer care cz i cnt simply stand it wen u r juz lying and pretending ..I can juz walk out of ur life and nvr appear again ..Cz all dis while u r juz building up dis false hope in me and wen i've reached the stars i dont see the shine ..I will juz drop all the way dwn to earth and end up dead ..I dnt wan dat to hppn to me ..Soo if ur heart says dat im not the one fr u or u juz simply dnt care or cnt b bothered wif me cz im juz freaking irritating who owaes bother u during ur free or bz tym and dat u wana b alone den u juz b vry honest to me and like i said i will juz walk out of ur lyf and lead dis lyf alone ..

Should i do sumting dat i see is wrng?

"An innocent luk u have my dear but a wild u deep inside"
I was shocked and disappointed wen i noe the real u ..Having to see ur face i tot u were a vry fine man but the confession abt urslf dat came frm u was a total shock of my life ..I wasnt dat ready to judge u but the truth came out frm ur mouth ..I didnt expect u to b the person dat u are now ..Now i have to luk at u in a different way ..Bcz u r not wad i may expect u to b ..And i cant luk at u and pretend dat i dont noe the real u ..I juz cant afford to do dat ..Luking at u in the eyes will make me remember wad u said abt urslf ..I dont noe how i will react to the situation wen i see u in future ..I might talk to u as per nrml pretending dat i dont noe anyting about u but i can juz turn speechless wen i see u bcz i simply dont noe wad to say to u ..U reali are the person whom i reali dislike ..I juz cant accept the fact dat u r dat kinda person ..I can juz chnge u into a better person if i wanted to but its reali up to u to decide it urslf ..I cnt chnge u if u are not willing to chnge bcz chnging cums frm ur heart not frm my effort wholly ..And not only dat i muz chnge the person whom i love into a different him but for the better ..If he still wana be the person he is, he wont b able to live peacefully ..I noe dat cz dats wad he's encountering ryte now ..He's life is not in peace ryte now ..Evryting seems to b wrng in his life and i need to chnge him ASAP bcz i wan him to b at peace ..Sumone said to me juz nw dat if u love a person u shld accept the way he is but to me if the person i love have the habits or attitudes dat is destroying his own life i need to do sumting abt it ..Bcz i love dat person and i dont wan anyting to hppn to him ..All i wan to see is his happiness ..Ouh god are u sending me all these ppl so dat i can chnge dem into a better person?? ..Am i the ryte person to do it? ..Why now? ..Why do u send me 2 persons at one tym? ..I juz feel dat i dont have dat enough strength to do it ..I need ur help god to gve me strength and patience to do it ..I wont juz give up seeing ppl whom i care and love suffer in their own darkness ..

I simply cant stand her

OMG i cant believe dat i juz teared bcz of dis stupid misundrstndng ..Y am i soo stupid to tear for a person lyk her ..She's not evn worth it ..Sumhw i juz felt soo hurt wen tings hppn lyk dis ..Cmon its meant to b a joke dat day and y take it criously?? ..Its nt my fault lyk duhh ...She's gvng me dat freaking annoying face and she dares to post such post in fb ..Sape yg buat muke sial dulu? ..Nk buat muke sial mcm tuu aku kasi lar balek muke sial aku ..Fiker die mane pnye bgs ..Da ade kwn baru lupe kwn lame ..Pegi mampos lar ..Pegi arh joke dgn kwn baru tuu ..Tkya joke lagi dgn kwn lame ..Konon tadi nak sarcastic arh ble rose tnye "who are u referring to in ur post " ..She dares to say "u noe who im referring to" ..Sial kn perangai die ..Kalo die ketawe kn org make fun of ppl org tk mrh pn ..Tapi kalo die kene sendiri tau pn die nk tersinggung ..Fiker die srng aje ade prasaan ..Org laen sume tkd prasaan? ..Org laen tk rase hurt lar ble die buat mcm tuu? ..Wad the **** ...Geramnye!!!!!! ..Rase mcm nk tarik2 aje rmbt smpi botak ..Bodo pnye pmpn ..I juz cant wait to chnge class nxt yr jadi tkya nk jmpe kwn hypocrite mcm tuu ..Waste my tym aje ..Hw culd i b soo stupid to juz trust her as a gud frend ..Nw i noe who my true frends are ..Who i can reali trust and who i believe will stab me frm the bck ..Hw i wish he was here to hear my evry story ..Hw sad and hw angry and hw hurt i am abt dis freaking incident ......

::Jangan menangis sayang::

Sampainya hatimu buat ku tertunggu-tunggu
Kemana kau sayang tidur malam tak menentu
Rindu merindu selama ini
Ku takut kan menjadi kenangan

Aku menangis sayang
Bila kau tiada
Tak sanggup rasanya aku berjauhan darimu
Resah hatiku

Jangan menangis sayang
Ku seperti dulu
Rinduku hanya padamu cintaku hanya untukmu
Buat selamanya

Kalau padi kata padi
Tidak aku tertampi-tampi
Kalau benci kata benci
Tidak aku nanti terus menanti

Berjanjilah kau sayang
Hanya aku di hatimu
Aku dah berjanji hanya kau di hati

I juz realise she sucks!!

U will only noe how nice the person is or how bad the person is wen u owaes hang out wif the person ..At frst u may tink dat she's nice,caring,the best frend dat a person may have ..But aftr awhile u will strt to realise ur frst impression about her were all wrng ..Dats wad hppnd to me ..Org laen pn ade buat kawan dgn org baru tapi tkdlar smpi prangai berubah smpi dgn members lame pn treat mcm patong ..Sial kn!! ..Pantat ..Kalo kwn baru die joke2 ,drng byk comment psl die wah bukan maen die layankn drng smpi bleh ketawe2 ..Kalo dgn kawan lame gurau skt amek hati smpi bleh jadi gdh ..Sial kn prangai die ..Dpt kawan baru lupe kawan lame ..Kalo g2 lepak arh dgn kawan baru ..Asal maseh terhege2 dgn org yg die tk suke??! ..Asal sbab takot nnt kt class die kene isolated? ..Sbab kawan baru die kn laen class ..Cume lecture class aje same ..Btol jgk kate wenshi dat tym ..Tkd kawan mcm die pn bgs ..Tk rugi pape pn ..(%$#)£°%#)pnye pmpn!!!!

Stress aku stress!!

Today is a very hectic day for me!! ..Frstly I muz meet kak murni to take clothes frm her at NTU during my 2 hrs break ..Cnfrm kene naek cab to go der cz kalo naek bus msti I wnt make it in tym for my next lesson ..I need to use the money to guy shoe for tmrw and im worry I wnt have enough money to buy shoe ..And cnfrm I dnt have the tym to eat ..Who cares!! Wads imprtnt is the clothes dat I need to take frm her ..Secondly I need to meet kak lily at tnjng pgr at her wrkplace to collect the shirt ..Aftr dat I muz meet miting to pass her costume and aftr dat I muz go to the cobbler to paku my kasot and den bli kasot ..And FYI I hvnt evn pack for tmrw!!! Wif my condition yang blm pack bag, kene jmpe kak lily, jmpe miting, pegi cobbler, bli kasot cnfrm balek lmbt and cnfrm tdo lmbt ..Lgi bsk kene bgn pagi giler!! And kpow gve me the responsibility to take care of the flowers ..Takot aje lupe nak bwk flowers though da buat checklist ..Most imprtntly is make up and costume ..Kalo tk bwk mampos!!!!!

Should i listen to my instincts??

Okae its weird wen he sddnly send me dat kinda msg ..Usually he will juz msg me "gud nyte, suwit dreamz" ..The furthest he may go is juz "gud nyte dear ...." ..But weirdly tonyte he msged me 2 tyms ..Frst msg was as usual "gud nyte suwit dreamz" ..I tot he wuld juz went to sleep ..But a few mins later he msged me again and saying the suwit tings lyk "sleep tight ....dnt frgt to miss me...." ..OMG hw weird is dat ..Since i knew him,since i contacted him he nvr once msg me lyk dat fr gud nyte msg ..Bt tonyte he msg me lyk dat ..Wana noe wad is the frst ting dat crosses my mind? ..He mistaken me wif another person ..Mayb he cn msg the wrng person ryte ..He intended to msg another person but msged me in mistake ..I tried to tink positive ..Tried to tink dat he might actuali msg tings lyk dis at tyms but sumhw my instincts juz say dat msg isnt for me ..It kept telling me dat dat msg is fr sumone else wen i tried to tink positive ..And wad i hate the most about my instinct is dat it says dat he's might actuali contacting another woman ..Is it true??? ..Gawd why am i tinking lyk dis ..I noe he's a nice guy, sticking to one ..Evn i get a positive feedback,comment about him frm his bestfrend ..But why am i tinking lyk dis aftr i received the msg?? ..Is my instincts playing me off? ..I tink if im on the fone wif him n he said dat i wuld believe dat is for me ..Cz honestly i say,him on the fone talking to me and him on the fone msgng wif me is totally different ..Wen im on the fone wif him i juz feel dat he cared soo much about me and i can feel it ..But wen im msgng wif him i juz feel dat he cant be bothered wif me and i tink he find me irritating ..Wen i post all kinds of sad posts he said to me dat he felt guilty ..As if he's the cause for my sadness ..The fact is he's not the cause of it ..But at tyms i juz feel dat he cant be bothered wif me ..Lyk as if im a pest in his lyf ..I juz wan him to be honest wif it if i am ..And now im chatting wif he's bestfrend and i shall see wad his bestfrend wuld say ..Hmmm ....

Aku jatuh cinta

Awalnya ku tak mengerti apa yang sedang ku rasakan
Segalanya berubah dan rasa rindu itu pun ada
Sejak kau hadir di setiap malam di tidurku
Aku tahu sesuatu sedang terjadi padaku

Sudah sekian lama ku alami pedih putus cinta
Dan mulai terbiasa hidup sendiri tanpa asmara
Dan hadirmu membawa cinta sembuhkan lukaku
Kau berbeda dari yang ku kira

Aku jatuh cinta kepada dirinya
Sungguh-sungguh cinta
Oh apa adanya
Tak pernah ku ragu
Namun tetap selalu menunggu
Sungguh aku....
Jatuh cinta kepadanya

Coba-coba dengarkan apa yang ingin aku katakan
Yang selama ini sungguh telah lama terpendam
Aku tak percaya membuatku tak berdaya
Tuk ungkapkan apa yang ku rasa

Kadang aku cemburu
Kadang aku gelisah
Seringnya ku tak mampu lalui hari
Tak dapat ku pungkiri
Hatiku yang terdalam
Betapa aku jatuh cinta kepadanya

Miss my skul days where i can enjoy free photoshoot!!

Ouh god, luking thru these oics makes me miss my skul days where i get to enjoy myf ree photoshoot fr 3 yrs strght ..I wana enjoy it again but too bad i've graduated frm my sch soo too bad ..I can juz stare at these pics ..Hmmm memories ....

 

Read carefully ..

Expressing my emotions and thoughts thru lyrics of songs ..Soo if you wana noe wad im feeling try to read the lyrics of the song i've posted and try to undrstnd the meaning of the lyrics ..Surely you'll undrstnd wad im feeling ryte now ..

Suara ku berharap

Di sini aku masih sendiri
Merenungi hari-hari sepi
Aku tanpamu
Masih tanpamu

Bila esok hari datang lagi
Ku coba 'tuk hadapi semua ini
Meski tanpamu ooooo
Meski tanpamu

Bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar
Mentari yang tenang bersamaku di sini
Ku dapat tertawa menangis merenung
Di tempat ini aku bertahan

Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apa khabarnya pujaan hatiku
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Kalau ku masih tetap di sini
Ku lewati semua yang terjadi
Aku menunggu oooo
Aku menunggu

Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apa khabarnya pujaan hatiku
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Buktikan ..

Ku tahu kau begitu ingin bersamaku
Karena aku pun juga ingin bersamamu
Tapi tak semudah itu jadi pacarku
Jika baru sesaat kau jelang denganku

Buktikanlah kau cinta padaku
Buat aku tergila-gila padamu
Jangan dulu kau lelah menunggu
Ku ingin lihat kesungguhanmu
Sebelum ku bilang i love you
I love you, ku bilang i love you
I love you

Ku berikan satu cara mendapatkan ku

Jangan banyak bicara kau tunjukkan saja

Biar aku yang nilai semua usahamu

Apakah kau bisa masuk daftar cintaku

Buktikanlah kau cinta padaku
Buat aku tergila-gila padamu
Jangan dulu kau lelah menunggu
Ku ingin lihat kesungguhanmu
Sebelum ku bilang i love you

Mudah saja kau bilang cinta kepadaku
Tapi lidah tetap saja bisa menipu

Buktikanlah kau cinta padaku
Buat aku tergila-gila padamu
Jangan dulu kau lelah menunggu
Ku ingin lihat kesungguhanmu
Sebelum ku bialng i love you

Eat!!!!

Im eating alot lately!!! ..I tink soon i'll grow fat ..I dont noe y im eating alot ..Mayb cz im hapi den my appetite juz tend to arouse and i ate alot, ALOT lately especially during my 3 wks of attachment ..I've been buying chocolates since der's promotion @ 7-11 ..2 crunchies for $2 ..Who wuld wana miss dat promotion man ..I'll be stupid to miss dat promotion since i enjoy eating crunchie ..And not only dat i get hungry easily lately ..Let's put it in dis way ..Aftrnn shift, my mum cooked at home and i had my lunch ..Usually i only eat rice once per day and i wnt feel hungry until nxt morning ..But lately, i had my lunch at home, 4 hrs later i started feeling hungry and wen my shift is over i reach home and i feel hungry again!! ..Am i out of my mind?? ..Dis is madness okae not hunger ..I cant tolerate dis growing fatter nonsense but i juz cant cntrl my eating habits lately ..I juz wana eat and eat and eat ..Sumone help me plzzz!! ..Cntrl my eating habits for me!!! ..Not only dat, aftr i ate rice a few mins later sddnly i feel lyk eating sumting else ..*cimil-cimilan* ...Mampos lar lyk dat ..I grow fat how?? ..I gotta maintain dis body sey ..I dont wana grow fat ..Later wana dance difficult ..Easy to get tired ..Haha i wonder who wuld wan me if i reali do grow fat ..Hmmmmm ....I hope my weight doesnt shoot ovr 45 ..Gawd i'll be stress if it shoots ovr 45 ...Gotta maintain dat 42 .....

Hanya engkau yang mampu ....

Ku cuba redakan relung hati

Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi

Terlukis di dalam kenangan

Bebas bermain di hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu

Cerita tentang kau dan aku

Kini tinggal hanya kenangan

Kau abadi di dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi

Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ign mati

Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir

Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu

Cerita tentang kau dan aku

Kini tinggal hanya kenangan

Kau abadi di dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi

Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati

Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir

Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooohhhh

Aku cinta ooooooo

Aku cinta ooohhhh

Aku cinta ooooooo

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi

Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati

Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir

Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooohhhh

Aku cinta ooooooo

Aku cinta ooohhhh

Aku cinta ooooooo

Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Ooooo .....