Im owaes having dreams of my late father .. Yesterday i dreamt dat he was suddenly alive back .. He talked to me bout sumting .. We chatted(which i cant remember wad), and den we hugged .. And the only ting i remembered him saying was "I know how much u miss me" .. And we hugged tightly .. And den i woke up from my sleep ..


Soo i was sharing dis to my boyfrend juz now .. At first i was okae wif telling him all dis .. Suddenly my feelings got mixed up and i teared ryte der infrnt of him .. He tried to stop me from crying, consoling me, wiping my tears .. But sumhw dat juz made me cry more .. Hah! .. I cant help it! .. I juz need to cry it all out .. At least i feel much better aftr dat .. But i noe by me crying it juz tears him down .. It broke his heart into million pieces .. Soo he managed to finally distract me by talking bout sumting else and made me laugh .. Hah! .. But its great to noe i have him around to share my happiness and my grieves wif .. At least im no longer alone ryte now if im feeling down .. I got him to hear me out, cry wif me, laugh wif me, go thru everyday shit in lyf wif me .. Simply enjoying his company wif me ryte now ..

"Dalam sepi terkenang diri mu
Ku sendiri mengharung rindu
Kau berjanji sehidup semati
Tinggal janji mu kau bawa bersama

Kau biarkan diri ku melara
Mengemis cinta suci dari mu
Apa daya aku jatuh cinta
Jatuh hati kepada yang tak sudi

Mengapakah aku kau dustai
Kasih suci telah kau khianati
Manis kata hanyalah di bibir
Meranalah jiwaku

Mengapakah kau simpan dendam mu
Kasih dulu tertanam di kalbu
Hingga aku menjadi mangsanya
Kau samakan dirinya
Dengan kasih dan sayang ku

Cuba kau rasakan nya
Apa yang telah aku merasainya
Kasih telah ku beri tidak kau menghargai
Impian hati ini hancur tidak tercari
Pergi sayang pergi
Tinggalkan aku sendiri

Ku... diusik kenangan bersama mu
Ku... dibuai rindu semalam"


He actually teared wen he heard dis song wen i left him previously .. Hw bad i felt wen he ask me to hear dis song and really undrstnd the lyrics to dis song .. N wen im done wif it he told me he cried hard wen he heard dis song .. :'(

"Hadirnya dirimu berikan suasana baru
Kau mampu tenangkan aku 
Di saat risau dalam hatiku
Lembutnya sikapmu meluluhkan hati ini
Terbuai aku lena oleh dirimu
Oleh dirimu


Jantung pun bergetar saat engkau ada di dekatku 
Mungkinkah diriku telah jatuh cinta pada dirimu
Sebisa diriku mencoba untuk melupakanmu
Namun ku tak bisa
Kau pun selalu ada dalam hatiku


Dan biarkan semua mengalir apa adanya
Ku yakin kau pun fahami perasaanku, perasaanku"

Cinta hatiku hanya dikau seorang wahai kekasih ku .. Tiada siapa yang dapat menggantikan tempatmu di hatiku .. Dan begitu juga dengan kamu .. Tiada siapa yang dapat menggantikan tempatku di hatimu .. Walaupun seseorang itu telah menggadai separuh nyawanya untuk melahirkan seseorang di dunia ini .. Namun hanya aku cinta pertamamu dan hanya aku juga lah yang kamu cintai dengan sepenuh hati walaupun telah bersamanya dahulu .. Dan aku, walaupun pernah meninggalkanmu, namun kamu tidak pernah lenyap di dalam hatiku .. Namamu akan sentiasa bertahta di dalam hatiku ini .. Walaupun hatiku ini sekecil genggaman tanganku namun tempat unutkmu di hatiku seluas lautan yang penuh dengan gelora cinta .. 

"Baby i love u, u are my life .. The happiest moments weren't complete if u weren't by my side .. U're my relation & connection to the sun .. Wif u next to me der's no darkness i can't overcome .. U are my raindrops, i am the seed .. Wif u & god who's the sunlight i'll bloom & grow so beautifully .. Baby i'm so proud, proud to be your girl .. U make the confusion go all away from dis cold & mixed up world .. I am in love wif u, u set me free .. I can't do dis ting called life without u here wif me .. Cause i'm dangerously in love wif u, i'll never leave .. Juz keep loving me the way i love u loving me .. And i know u love me, love me for who i am .. Cause years before i became who i am baby u were my man .. I know it ain't easy, easy loving me .. I appreciate the love & dedication frm u to me .. Later on in my destiny i see myself having ur child .. I see myself being ur wife & i see my whole future in ur eyes .. Thought of all my love for u sometimes makes me wana cry .. Realise my blessings i'm grateful to have u by my side .. Evrytime i see ur face my heart smiles .. It feels so good it hurts sometimes .. Created in dis world to love, to hold, to feel, to live u .. Dangerously in love .."


Dis lyric was given to him on our 2nd mth .. He was awed wen he frst heard dis song & wen he saw dis lyric written by me on a piece of paper n was pasted on sumting dat i gave him today as a present, he was awed again .. Der lies our memories tgt .. And the greatest ting to noe he put it on his dressing table & so evry mrng wen he wakes up frm his sleep the frst ting he will see is the present dat i gave him .. Dat'll remind him of us each time he wakes up frm his sleep ..
Loving u owaes my beloved boyfrend .. Noting's gonna chnge dat ..