Why the hell did she tink im having an affair wif him? .. I have got noting to do wif his life .. After all, face the fact, he's still attached to her .. He didnt even go after me lyk how she tot he did .. He juz texted me but not meeting me behind her, not dating me, not even doing anyting stupid wif me .. Im wif my lyf, he's wif his lyf .. Soo y muz she say such stuff making ppl tink dat im the one who ruined evryting dat was built btwn him and her .. Wen the actual fact here im going thru life as it is .. I've oready draw myslf a boundary btwn me n him .. Yes he can contact me, talk to me, text me .. I can still bother to reply to all of it .. But if i were to have an affair wif him behind her, oh no dats not gonna happen .. Im selfish i have to admit .. If i were to have a guy i wan him solely mine .. No sharing wif oder woman .. Soo wad for im sharing him wif her wen the fact is im selfish .. Der's no point to it .. I hate sharing dis kinda tings wif oder ppl .. I wan it for myself and onli mine .. Dont she get it? .. I didnt ask for him to contact me once again .. I didnt seduce him .. Its juz the situation makes him fall back for me once again .. Who to be blamed? .. Him? .. NO he's not at fault .. Den god? .. How can we blame god .. We dont ask for dis .. It juz happen .. Soo y muz she say such stuff to make ppl tink dat he's cheating on her by going back to me wen the fact dat he's juz having feelings for me but he didnt go back to me .. Going back as in having a relationship wif me .. Dont she understand wad does dat mean? .. He's still wif her .. Not wif me .. Soo she better not create stories and make ppl tink im the bad one here .. Coz im not .. I didnt do anyting wrong .. I have my limits .. I noe he's attached to her .. Im not a relationship wrecker .. Get it strght in ur head my dear frend ..

Dear god, y muz i go thru all dis? .. Y muz i face too many problems at once? ..Im not strong to handle too many tings in life .. Im juz weak .. Y muz those tings which i mange to throw away years bck cum bck once again .. And wen it cums bck now, im unable to keep it .. I muz throw it far far away once again .. I am able to cntrl myslf but i guess the situation makes me confuse .. Makes me feel soo doubtful of the strong decision i've made .. I noe im not suppose to feel dis way and im controlling it but im juz too weak and he's not helping me .. In fact i guess he made it more worse .. And im lyk tinking of it all the tym .. Im guilty .. Damn guilty .. God noes wad im gng thru .. He noes im doing sumting wrong .. I hope he's able to forgive me .. I did sumting wrong but i believe it will never happen again .. But im worried at the same tym .. Am i able to really control it as how i wanted i to be? .. Tings happen for a reason but im not sure wads the reason it came back to me once again .. And knowing the fact dat im unable to even keep it in me animore, the more im curious of wads the reason for it appearance once again in my lyf .. Im trying hard, damn hard to discard dis away .. I hope i wont do anyting stupid in future dat will make me regret for the rest of my lyf .. Coz dis aint juz abt me dis involves sumone else .. Sumone innocent ..

Sesungguhnye Allah itu memang maha adil .. Die tahu ape yang layak untuk umatnye dan setiap kelakuan ade balasannye .. Yg baik dibalas baik, yang jahat dibalas jahat .. Sudah semestinye bile kite lukekn hati org, akhirnye kite yg terluke sendiri .. Mungkin aku pernah lukekan hati seseorg dulu dan aku dah dapat balasannye bile aku dilukekn si die .. Tapi lepas die lukekan hati aku, aku serahkan sume pade Allah .. Sekarang aku rase die dpt balasannye tanpe aku berdendam atau buat jahat .. Aku cume tengok dari jaoh dan berdoa aje .. Bile aku sukekan die, die maen2kn perasaan aku .. Skrg die yg dipermainkan .. Allah da pun menjawab doa aku, alhamdullilah .. Tapi belum semue dikabulkan .. Takpe .. Aku akan sabar menanti ape kesudahan sepasang kekasih tuu .. Ape mereke akan gembire atau pun tidak .. Aku akan terus berdoa dan mudah-mudahan doa aku terkabul .. Amin ..
Dulu, aku yang menangis, die yang tertawe bahagie ..
Sekarang, aku yang tertawe bahagie, die pulak yang menangis ..

"You created dis mess in the frst place .. I've done my part by leaving evryting to god .. Now u came along wanting me to hear u out and i did .. Now im juz gonna sit back and watch as u struggle wif wad u are unable to handle .. Im never gonna help u coz im never ur frst choice .."

  
I was glad dat at least i still exist in his mind and he made the effort to strt the conversation wif me.. But still no matter wad im still his 2nd choice so why muz i give my all to him ryte .. Aftr all, he'll still go back to her even if im fully devoted to give my time for him .. Im never his .. Soo im juz gonna sit back and watch how is he trying to handle sumting wild dat surely is not his type of nature .. I will help juz by listening but wen it cums to sumting more den juz listening, i aint doing anyting .. As much as i care for him and i aint letting anyting hurt him, i believe dis is a total eye opener for him and i wan him to learn it all by himself without me telling him his mistakes .. I guess dis is wad he deserve .. He wans her soo much and wen truth finally reveals he might have juz regretted but still doesnt wana let go of wad he's suppose to .. Soo im juz gonna let him suffer for his mistakes and let him learn his lesson and wen he tinks he's ready for me he noes wer to get me .. Im juz gonna watch and smile from far and sadly to say, i'll be waiting for him ..