Its amazing ow people can change in a blink .. For his case, he changed drastically .. Sumhow i feel he's not him animore .. The real him i noe 3 weeks ago seems to have disappear or blend wif time .. Well he told me he got his own problems .. Everybody have problem .. Even i have my own problem .. But i didnt chnge lyk he did .. I still took the effort to msg him coz i still care .. But him? .. Since the day he told me he wanted to onli be frends wif me, dat was he day he strted chngng .. He stopped texting me, stopped calling me .. It suddenly feels soo different .. Drastic change .. And i dont even noe wad i did wrong to him .. If he tinks dat im a pest den fine i wont be intefering wif his life animore .. Well he said he'll be der as a frend wen im in need .. But wad the hell wen i text him wen im in need he strted acting dat way .. He's trying to show to me dat he doest give a damn ting bout me .. Den wad bout all the tings he told me once .. He really changed .. Totally change .. I dont even noe who he is now .. Im not even rushing into anyting wif him coz we are still raw but he said it in such way lyk as if im forcing him into a relationship wif me .. Well im not even ready yet to be in the relationship for now .. Soo im lyk totally taking dis ting slowly .. No rush .. Der's yet alot for me to noe bout him and now i have to find out dis from him .. I aint liking it ..
Y muz he act in dis way to me .. Enough wif wadever i faced previously wif dat guy and now i have to face dis .. Wen i finally found sumone whom i can be hapi wif, he acted dis way to me .. Fine! .. Den i guess dis wuld be the end of us .. Till the day he open up his eyes and mind and noe dat im hurt wif wad and how he's doing and acting like ryte now ..

Two times consequtively sumone did dis to me .. Wad have i done to deserve such ting? .. Well i tot for once aftr i managed to frgt about my past and move on i'll manage to find happiness wif sumone else .. And he's damn ryte wen he said wen i tot im owaes wrong .. And damn im wrong .. Maybe im juz fated to stay lyk dis til i get wad i deserved for wad i have done previously in lyf .. Byt wad culd possibly have gone wrong .. Coz its such a random ting to say wen he texted me .. I noe sumitng's wrong and he aint telling me .. He wont juz say dat, i noe .. Coz before he texted me i met him and we were oryte during dat tym .. I mean he was oryte .. He didnt even mention anyting about dis .. Maybe sumting happened over his practice and juz dat he doesnt wana tell me .. Damn wads wrong wif everyone?!! .. Wen im willing to give sumting dat i dont juz give to anyone, sumone juz misused it .. But wen im unwilling to give it to dem or no longer wan to give it to dem, dey will cum and find it and are willing to sacrifice anyting to get it back .. And now he's not replying to my msg wen i asked him y the random act .. Wads wrong wif him .. Wad have i done to him to deserve dis .. I noe we are juz frends .. I knew it from the start .. But its juz dat his random act hurts me .. Its how he put it into words dat hurts me .. And i dont noe y im getting soo affected wif wad he's telling me .. Wads wrong wif me!!!! ..
Haiz ... Thnx for being the 2nd one .. I soo do not need anymore of dis bullshit in my lyf .. Ive had it! ..

U can make me smile ..
U can make me laugh ..
But please ..
Dont ever ever let dis tears run down my cheeks again ..
Enough of those sleepless nights tinking and crying and foolishly waiting for  sumone whom not even worth it for me ..
Dont ever repeat it all over again ..
God noes wad i need now and i hope he informs u wad i need now ..

I hate dis feeling of insecure im feeling ryte now .. And it came all too sudden .. It was not as if its too obvious dat he's different today but i guess im juz too afraid dat my past might happen to me again dis tym round and all i wanted to do was to be careful of wad im doing or saying .. I figured i said sumting wrong today dat might juz hurt his feelings but i cant figure out wad yet .. And he's not helping by telling me wads wrng .. My gut feelings will never lie to me and i noe sumting's wnrg .. I dont expect anyting ryte now coz i used to hope too much on sumone and got disappointed in the end coz i was left "hanging" without a single word .. Damn i hate dat feeling .. I always hated being fooled .. Its easy for me to accept if dat sumone told me dat he doesnt wan anyting to do wif me but never ever can i accept wen sumone fooled me and left me woithout a word .. Enough wif wad i went thru a few months ago and wen i can finally find sumone who can cure all those hurtful moments, im afraid the same ting might juz happen and i might get hurt once again .. Damn it sucks to be me .. Luck is never on my side ..

Malam ini, ku sendiri, tak ada yang menemani, seperti malam-malam yang sudah, sudah
Hati ini, selalu sepi, tak ada yang menghiasi, seperti cinta ini yang selalu pupus
Tuhan kirimkanlah aku kekasih yang baik hati, yang mencintai aku apa adanya
Mawar ini, semakin layu, tak ada yang memiliki seperti aku ini semakin pupus

Damn! .. Bsk cnfrm hari yang paling menyumpah untuk aku .. Actually aku bleh choose nak buat bsk hari menyumpah atau tak .. Tapi cnfrm sumhw aku tak bleh tahan pnye dgn die soo msti aku naek berang .. 
Bsk due-due choreographer tkd kt class cz ade class laen .. Soo since die rase pade die, die adelar penari yang terhebat among kite sume mesti bsk die nak tunjuk besar .. Cnfrm bsk die nak sebok2 take over class .. Nak mrh2 org sbab slh position lar .. Technique salah lar .. Padehal kau tuu yang slh technique pompan .. Aku ajar bende laen kat kau, kau pegi ajr bende laen kt org laen den org laen fiker aku yang slh .. Padehal kau yang slh .. Biadap sungguh .. Tapi at last sume org tau jgk kn kau slh .. Sbab sume org buat ape yg aku ajr den kau srng shiock sendiri at last kau btol kn diri sendiri .. Mati kutu lar kau kat situ .. Padan muke .. Pandai ckp org slh padehal cermin diri sendiri .. Kau yang slh .. Bukan org laen .. Jgn fiker kau aje btol .. Ini bukan choreography kau .. Jadi jgn nak pandai2 ubah suai technique org jadi technique kau .. Tak sedar diri .. Konon da lame dlm tarian den kau aje lar btol .. Org laen sume slh .. Tuu kau silap .. Bukak mate besar2 .. The fact is kau yang slalu slh .. Kau yang slalu laen among kite2 yg laen .. Sbab kau tak pernah nak hargai reka tari org, technique org .. Nak ikot sedap diri joget style kau sendiri .. Dah tuu pndi2 ckp org nak pulaukan kau .. Mmg haros pon org pulaukan kau .. Tgk lar dgn attitude kau sendiri .. Asek fiker kau aje btol .. Smpi dgn senior sendiri pon brani tengking .. Kau sape nak tengking2 org .. Fiker org tuu pekak ape .. Padehal baru kt sblh aje .. Tk smpi 10cm away .. Tkkn kalo kau baek dgn org org nak pulaukan kau .. Evryting happen bcz of ur own doing .. Dont ever blame oders .. Cermin diri sendiri dulu sblm nak menyalahkan org laen ..

I realised now, he's the reason i cant sleep every nyte .. He's the reason i kept on smiling to myself .. He's the reason i cant seem to focus at times .. He's the reason i became lively .. He's the reason i fall in love ..
I dont noe wads wrng wif me .. I have yet to noe him but already i've started having feeling for him .. Mayb dis wad we call "love at first sight"? .. I cant simply stop tinking about him though im convinced dat im not in love wif him .. But as days goes by and he kept lingering in my mind, i tink its tym i declare officially i have fallen for him .. But i've learnt my mistake from my previous so-called relationship and im soo not gonna repeat it again if dis relationship's gonna work btwn me and dis new guy .. Coz im not letting go of dis chance once its in my hands ..
But at tyms i wonder weder is it really true dat dis is love at first sight? .. Or was it juz my feelings and i just get carried away wif it? .. How can i fall in love wif sumone whom i havnt talk to, whom i assume doesnt noe my name yet and not even sure weder he realises dat i exist in the first place .. I have to admit he's dreamy .. He got dis sweet baby face of his dat attracts me .. But a gud guy doesnt depends on his looks ryte .. How am i suppoe to get to noe him den? .. For my case, im shy to approach him and even say hi .. Dont even tink of doing it wen i saw him, i dont even dare to say hi to him on facebook .. Coz im afraid wad happened to me before will happen again .. Yes, der will be frends of mine who are willing and can help me to get him noticed about me .. But im juz too afraid of wads gonna happen in future .. I dont even noe weder i'll get to noe him before dis production ends .. And i noe after dis production ends, im sure ders no way i'll ever get to see him again .. And wad fears me more, mayb he'll find sumone else and wen i meet him the next tym, i'll get to noe dat he's attach .. Der goes my chance .. Dear god, help me in dis .. Please ....