The lost tooth

And soo recently i juz lost my tooth ..It was a freaking sad ting dat has ever happened in my life ..I feel the sense of lost wen i have to lose my tooth ..Its lyk im missing 1/4 of the part in my body ..Im soo not used wif having no tooth to chew simply bcz i took out my chewing tooth ..Soo the story goes lyk dis ..I was eating chicken cutlet happily wif my frends and den sddnly i feel, wif my tongue, sumting sharp ..Wen i looked in the mirror 1/4 of my tooth had chipped of ..I was freaking shock and of course sad ..But den a few days later i got over it and ignore the tooth ..But den day aftr day the condition of my tooth got worse ..I experienced a long sharp pain and i cnt squeeze both my upper teeth and my lower teeth tgt on the left side ..Wen i chew i have to onli chew it on my right side and i can onli squeeze my right teeth,nt left ..The pain im suffering can nvr be described in words ..ONLI GOD NOES WAD IM GNG THRU ..And den i decide to go to the dentist as it got worse ..The pain i mean ..Wen i went to the dentist i intend to go for tooth filling ..But den the dentist say its impossible bcz my tooth have decayed and either i have to go for surgery which costs abt $800+ or i plucked it out ..Hell NO im gonna spend $800 for surgery soo i decide to pluck it out ..And soo nw im a girl wif 1 less tooth in her mouth ..Such a sad feeling .. Haizz ...

Mixed feelings

Soo much tings going on in my mind ryte now ..Im having mixed feelings ..I feel soo frustrated at the same time im hapi ..I juz dont y im having dis freaking feeling .I hate it alot!! ..I guess i have dis mixed feelings wen i c the pic and fb profile ..Wen i saw the pic i got frustrated and abit sad but wen i saw sumitng at the fb profile i got abit excited and happi ..Soo i dont noe which feeling i shld go to ..Cz its a mixed feeling and im totally in a confused situation ryte now ..I juz had fun wif my darling seniors and den wen i saw dis shld i waste those enjoyable tym i had juz bcz of sumting lyk dis ..I dont noe ..Sumtyms i juz feel soo unappreciated ..Im trying to tink positive at all time, making myslf tink dat its juz my imagination but i need the person's help to make me sure dat evryting will be oryte and i shall not wory about it at all ..But how am i suppose to relax myslf wen the person is not actuali doing anyting to calm me ..I dont noe wad i shld do now ..I dont wana make myslf stress due to dis but sumtyms it juz haunt me deep inside ..

Cute cute baby

Soo wen i was otw back home from skul juz now, after a long day in skul due to classes and project, a mother and baby sat beside me ..The baby was soo damn cute, wif his chubby cheeks and big eyes, i feel like biting him all over ..At first the baby was behaving, onli laughing and keep on playing ..But wen his mummy took out her iphone and he saw it, he wanted the iphone ..But his mummy juz put it inside her bag back ..Den the musical begins ..He started crying and it was deafening ..Thoug he was 1 seat away from me still he cried loud and all i could do is smile ..I wanted to make a funny faces to him soo dat he will get distracted and stopped crying but i feel soo dumb to be doing at soo i juz smiled ..Den his mummy took out a box of biscuit and fed him ..But he didnt wan the biscuit, he wans the iphone, soo he still cried ..but the biscuit was still inside his mouth he chewed quietly but wen its finished he cried again ..And dis was continuous ..Until he reached his hand out to grab his mummy's iphone in her bag ..Finally he got the iphone but still he was crying ..Hehehe ..He's such a pretender ..Crocodile tears ..I wonder if my baby in future will ever be lyk dat ..I will definitely bite him/her at home until im satisfied ..hahahaha!! ..

Countdown 2010

My eve & new year was celebrated wif my 2nd family ..I was glad dat i was able to celebrate it wif dem & was delighted dat my parents actually allowed me to ovrnyte at the chalet ..Well i guess coz my 2nd family are very trustable in dis kinda tings ..
Soo it was very tiring for me dis 3 days of chalet ..Didnt get enough sleep coz during the countdown i wasnt dat tired and soo i stayed till 4am, managed to find a spot and squeezed in on bed, but still unable to sleep coz of the musicals on bed(snorings) ..Eventually i started to tink of sumone, and managed to doze off, dreaming about him ..But still i onli slept for 2 hrs cz need to wake up early for morning jog wif the rest of the sriwarnians ..
It was the frst tym, aftr my sec life, i actually jogged or exercised ..And obviously my body mechanisms was not ready for dis jog but still i joined the morning jog ..BUT during the jog i walked most of the tym coz i HATE jogs!! ..Hahaa dats wad i actuali do during my runs in sch ..And ouh yar!! I frgt to wear socks and got dis big blister on my feet!! ..Ouch it was painful ..And i was onli halfway to the destination dat i got dis blisters ..Soo i stopped jogging and onli jog wen im way bck from oders, catching up wif dem ..Dat would be the last tym im ever jogging until i was forced to or cant be excused from running!!
Aftr which i rested and den went for cycling wif the cliques ..Dat was the frst tym too i cycled all the way, w/o stopping until i reached the destination ..And i cycled non-stop too back to the chalet ..My ass and cuffs was in great pain wen i got out of the bicycle ..But i have to admit it was a satisfying exercise for me coz i LOVE cycling and it was the frst tym in my life i didnt stop to rest coz of tiredness ..Juz dat i slowed dwn a little bit but sped up wen i cnt see any of the sriwarnians in frnt of me ..Hahaa ..
Aftr dat i had lunch wif the rest and got ready for the ultimate photoshoot!! ..It was a great photoshoot ..Love my outfit, love the scene, love the photographer, love the outcome of the photos and especially LOVED evry single moment of the photoshoot ..It will never be forgotten ..Will owaes remain in my memory ..
It wasnt a regret ..I enjoyed staying over, spending my tym wif dem ..Though i felt a bit awkward hanging out wif dem sumtyms coz im nt close to dem i still try to fit in and enjoy myslf ..And for sure i will be joining in for any activities in future ..
The 2010 countdown moments were a success!! .. *u*

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Confessions of my heart ..

I had a dream last nyte and i feel lyk not waking up dis morning ..A dream dat makes me smile and laugh coz its a dream about him ..I guess last nyte was the nyte dat i realise i have fallen for him ..I had dreams about him a few nytes oready and i guess last nyte's dream made me realise dat i've fallen deeply for him and makes me wana be wif him ..Last nyte's dream was the dream dat made me feel vry close to him bcz he's arm were wrapped around me all the tym ..How secure i feel in dat dream bcz i can feel the warmnest dats he's gvng me and i can feel the sense of secure dat he's gvng me ..How i wish dat it wuld reali cum true and i can live it in reality ..Its such a pity dat till now der's no signs n syptoms of him wanting me ..Sumtyms i juz feel lyk switching lives wif him soo dat i can noe wad his true feeling were for me ..And he can noe wad my true feelings for him were ..I wan him to feel the love dat im willing to give him ..I wan him to feel n undrstnd me in such a way dat he's truely been in my shoes b4 ..But i can only wish for it to hppn ..Cz im not him and i dnt noe wad might be in his mind ryte now ..I dont evn noe weder he wans dis relationshp to move on or not ..He might as well juz end it here ryte now if he does not wan to move on cz i dont wan dis love to develop mre and grow bigger and bigger each day ..And end up disappointed ..Is god trying to tell me dat he came into my lyf juz to leave me? ..I dont get the point of him doing dat ..Or maybe he came into my lyf juz to cheer me up wen i broke off wif my ex and den wen im healed he juz wanders off and nvr came bck ..Is dat wad god is trying to tell me ..Dat he's not for me? ..Dat happiness is not out der for me to grab wif him? ..I dont noe ..I juz dnt get it ..I juz dont undrstnd wif the whole situation yet ..The answer lies in his hands ..If he's willing to move on he noes wad to do ..And i am willing to accept him in any kinda situation i am in or he is in ..

My confessions ..

I cant believe dat he said dat .. How can i make the frst move in dis relationship wen im juz a gurl ..He's the guy soo he shld make the frst move ..If he sees dat im nt msgng him or called him he can actuali msg me frst or cll me frst ..Dats wad a guy shld do ryte ..How can i make the frst move ..Might as well i be the guy and him being the gurl ryte ..Its fine wif me if im the one who's owaes msgng him frst, calling him frst, mayb asking him out ..Hmm mayb asking him out wuld be the sumting i dont dare to do ..But msgng n calling are the tings dat i usually do ..But how can he say dat we have not been contacting each oder lately but the fact is he's bz ..I dont wana disturb him in his bz schedule cz i dont wan him to find me a pest, pestering him and annoying him wen he's got soo much tings to do ..Cz i dont lyk to msg or talk to sumone who finds me irritating ..Eventually he wont be sincere to entertain me ..I can contact him evryday if he wans to but its weder he have the tym to entertain me or nt ..I dont noe wad else i shld do ..Yes i wan dis relationship to go on forward but if im owaes the one making the frst move den he might find me desperate ..Not dat im saying im desperate for dis relationship ..Im not ..But since we are getting to noe each oder its gud dat we can move on to the next level ..Mayb he's lyk dat bcz he's been vry bz wif his wrk and sum tings in his lyf ..Well i undrstnd dat ..Evrybody have their own schedule ..It depends on weder they are too bz or too free ..For him he's too bz but for me im too free ..Too free till i dont noe wad to do wif my lyf ..Dats y i can onli wait for him ..If im too bz i tink i juz cant b bothered wif dis relationship and juz do sumting better wif my life ..But im not lyk dat ..Im willing to wait for him ..Evn if it takes for him to finish his NS cz i tink NS is the ting dats holding him back ..Filling his free tym ..Well dats all dat i manage to do ..To wait ..My frends adviced me to juz move on but im not ready yet to move on ...I still wana go on wif dis ting cz i wana noe wads the ending gonna be .Lyk a fairytale ..Sumhw dis fairytale might have a hapi or sad ending ..Hopefully it is a hapi ending ..Sumhw hru all those sleepless nights tinking of him, dreaming of him, i got the feeling dat dis relationship might juz work btwn us but it needs tym to make it happen ...

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Percayalah

Its soo pathetic!!

Birthdays are not meant to be celebrated at times in our lifes ..Maybe because of our hectic schedule until we ourselves forget dat its our bdae or its juz dat nobody around us remembers it and didnt celebrate it wif us ..Dats sad isnt it ..We've went thru evry kinda obstacles in our lifes ..Experiencing the ups and downs ..Bdae is the day wen we get to feel the ultimate happiness because we are supposed to be surrounded by our loved ones and get loads of presents, hugs and kisses on dat day ..But for certain ppl, i shall say me, is very different ..Dis yr my bdae is juz lyk any oder ordinary day ..I still feel sad on my bdae ..I dont feel the happines ..Well its a lie if i say i dont feel any happiness at all ..I do ..On dat very midnight wen the clock strikes 12 my frends msged me and wished me hapi bdae ..Dey even gave me a surprise call and i confessed i cried coz i was too touched by wad she did ..Dat was the frst tym in my lyf sumone called me in the middle of the midnyte juz to wish me hapi bdae ..She even disguised herslf by using sumone else's num and pretending she's a stranger ..Bt too bad i recognised her voice too well soo she didnt get to fool me for too long ..And i oso get dat very special msg from dat sumone special of mine at 130am ..Yes again im touched and tears roll down from my eyes ..I didnt expect to get dat msg from him though i was hoping for it and i cant sleep due to dat ..At first i tot i will be disappointed coz hw wont even be bothered to wake up juz to msg me ..But i was touched by wad he replied me ..He said he woke up juz to wish me ..I almost cant believe my eyes wen i was reading the msg ..But i cant deny it was true .My eyes werent bluffing me ..But still i onli feel the happiness during dat period of tym ..Bcz aftr dat my bdae is juz lyk oder ordinary day ..I spent my entire day at home wif my books coz i gotta study for my upcoming exam ..Yes he said to me dat he intended to bring me out but he had sumting on ..i didnt mind dat ..But still wad i was hoping for before my bdae didnt came true ..Ppl said bdae is wen u wish for sumitng and it might happen ..But for me only one ting dat i hoped for happened on dat day ..But my oder wishes didnt came true ..I dont mean to sound pathetic here but still im juz lyk oder ppl ..Who wants to feel loved and cared for not onli on my bdae but every oder day ..Sumhow it kept me thinking is happiness reali waiting for me in future or oderwise .....