Why the hell did she tink im having an affair wif him? .. I have got noting to do wif his life .. After all, face the fact, he's still attached to her .. He didnt even go after me lyk how she tot he did .. He juz texted me but not meeting me behind her, not dating me, not even doing anyting stupid wif me .. Im wif my lyf, he's wif his lyf .. Soo y muz she say such stuff making ppl tink dat im the one who ruined evryting dat was built btwn him and her .. Wen the actual fact here im going thru life as it is .. I've oready draw myslf a boundary btwn me n him .. Yes he can contact me, talk to me, text me .. I can still bother to reply to all of it .. But if i were to have an affair wif him behind her, oh no dats not gonna happen .. Im selfish i have to admit .. If i were to have a guy i wan him solely mine .. No sharing wif oder woman .. Soo wad for im sharing him wif her wen the fact is im selfish .. Der's no point to it .. I hate sharing dis kinda tings wif oder ppl .. I wan it for myself and onli mine .. Dont she get it? .. I didnt ask for him to contact me once again .. I didnt seduce him .. Its juz the situation makes him fall back for me once again .. Who to be blamed? .. Him? .. NO he's not at fault .. Den god? .. How can we blame god .. We dont ask for dis .. It juz happen .. Soo y muz she say such stuff to make ppl tink dat he's cheating on her by going back to me wen the fact dat he's juz having feelings for me but he didnt go back to me .. Going back as in having a relationship wif me .. Dont she understand wad does dat mean? .. He's still wif her .. Not wif me .. Soo she better not create stories and make ppl tink im the bad one here .. Coz im not .. I didnt do anyting wrong .. I have my limits .. I noe he's attached to her .. Im not a relationship wrecker .. Get it strght in ur head my dear frend ..

Dear god, y muz i go thru all dis? .. Y muz i face too many problems at once? ..Im not strong to handle too many tings in life .. Im juz weak .. Y muz those tings which i mange to throw away years bck cum bck once again .. And wen it cums bck now, im unable to keep it .. I muz throw it far far away once again .. I am able to cntrl myslf but i guess the situation makes me confuse .. Makes me feel soo doubtful of the strong decision i've made .. I noe im not suppose to feel dis way and im controlling it but im juz too weak and he's not helping me .. In fact i guess he made it more worse .. And im lyk tinking of it all the tym .. Im guilty .. Damn guilty .. God noes wad im gng thru .. He noes im doing sumting wrong .. I hope he's able to forgive me .. I did sumting wrong but i believe it will never happen again .. But im worried at the same tym .. Am i able to really control it as how i wanted i to be? .. Tings happen for a reason but im not sure wads the reason it came back to me once again .. And knowing the fact dat im unable to even keep it in me animore, the more im curious of wads the reason for it appearance once again in my lyf .. Im trying hard, damn hard to discard dis away .. I hope i wont do anyting stupid in future dat will make me regret for the rest of my lyf .. Coz dis aint juz abt me dis involves sumone else .. Sumone innocent ..

Sesungguhnye Allah itu memang maha adil .. Die tahu ape yang layak untuk umatnye dan setiap kelakuan ade balasannye .. Yg baik dibalas baik, yang jahat dibalas jahat .. Sudah semestinye bile kite lukekn hati org, akhirnye kite yg terluke sendiri .. Mungkin aku pernah lukekan hati seseorg dulu dan aku dah dapat balasannye bile aku dilukekn si die .. Tapi lepas die lukekan hati aku, aku serahkan sume pade Allah .. Sekarang aku rase die dpt balasannye tanpe aku berdendam atau buat jahat .. Aku cume tengok dari jaoh dan berdoa aje .. Bile aku sukekan die, die maen2kn perasaan aku .. Skrg die yg dipermainkan .. Allah da pun menjawab doa aku, alhamdullilah .. Tapi belum semue dikabulkan .. Takpe .. Aku akan sabar menanti ape kesudahan sepasang kekasih tuu .. Ape mereke akan gembire atau pun tidak .. Aku akan terus berdoa dan mudah-mudahan doa aku terkabul .. Amin ..
Dulu, aku yang menangis, die yang tertawe bahagie ..
Sekarang, aku yang tertawe bahagie, die pulak yang menangis ..

"You created dis mess in the frst place .. I've done my part by leaving evryting to god .. Now u came along wanting me to hear u out and i did .. Now im juz gonna sit back and watch as u struggle wif wad u are unable to handle .. Im never gonna help u coz im never ur frst choice .."

  
I was glad dat at least i still exist in his mind and he made the effort to strt the conversation wif me.. But still no matter wad im still his 2nd choice so why muz i give my all to him ryte .. Aftr all, he'll still go back to her even if im fully devoted to give my time for him .. Im never his .. Soo im juz gonna sit back and watch how is he trying to handle sumting wild dat surely is not his type of nature .. I will help juz by listening but wen it cums to sumting more den juz listening, i aint doing anyting .. As much as i care for him and i aint letting anyting hurt him, i believe dis is a total eye opener for him and i wan him to learn it all by himself without me telling him his mistakes .. I guess dis is wad he deserve .. He wans her soo much and wen truth finally reveals he might have juz regretted but still doesnt wana let go of wad he's suppose to .. Soo im juz gonna let him suffer for his mistakes and let him learn his lesson and wen he tinks he's ready for me he noes wer to get me .. Im juz gonna watch and smile from far and sadly to say, i'll be waiting for him ..

I hate it wen my oder patients or their relatives pinch their noses wen i change my patient's diapers aftr she passes motion .. They are soo ignorant!! .. They act as if their shit smells soo nice .. Well they dont realise dat their shit smells as bad or their shit might smell even worst den my patient .. Bunch of idieots!! .. Imagine if they are the ones who are bed ridden, unable to go to toilet, on diapers, have to urine and shit on diapers on bed and ppl around them pinch their noses right infront of them .. How wuld they feel? .. Definitely hurt ryte .. Definitely humiliated ryte .. As if my patient is such a smelly old lady .. The fact is everybody's shit is smelly .. Its dirty tings wad dat came out from our body .. Dats y its smelly .. And the fact dat my patient even realise dat it will be smelly and she asked me to turn off the fan soo dat the smell doesnt diffuse around the cubicle, dat makes me hate the patients and family members more .. I really pity her .. She's such a nice lady .. And yet people have to be soo rude pinching their noses infrnt of her .. I feel lyk slapping their faces wen they do dat .. As if they soo perfect .. Even if u'r pretty or not, young or old, ur shit will still smell bad .. Soo dont be a FUCKER by doing all those rude behaviours infrnt of ppl who are juz illness victims .. Its not as if they ask for it .. They never ask for themself to be bed ridden .. Im sure if its possible they even wan to go toilet soo dat they dont have to face all those ignorant people .. And i have to say all of those ignorant fuckers are C*****E .. And they feel dat they are soo perfect, soo hygienic, not lazy and many oder ignorant stuff .. The fact is they are not perfect .. They dont even wash their ass wif water and soap aftr dey shit, never bath in the morning and they have the guts to say they're hygienic ..They are a bunch of disgusting people .. I HATE THEM ..STUPID C*****E!!!! Because of some bunch of people, i hate the whole group of them ..

Lelaki:
Maafkan saya .. Sesungguhnya saya sudah menjumpai apa yang dimaksudkan dengan jodoh daripada Allah .. Saya nak jadikan awak yang halal buat saya .. Sentiasa berada di sisi saya dalam susah dan senang dan sentiasa menemani saya di dunia, akhirat dan insyallah cinta sampai syurga ..

Perempuan:
Saya perlukan cinta, kasih dan sayang yang ikhlas .. Hingga nyawa tercerai dari jasad  .. Bukan untuk dipermainkan .. Bukan untuk dipersendakan ..

Lelaki:
Saya ada impian .. Dan impian saya cuma satu .. Saya ingin sehidup semati dengan awak .. Tapi kali ini saya memang benar-benar jujur dan ikhlas .. Mungkin cinta saya tidak seaggung cinta Nabi Muhammad kepada Siti Khadijah .. Atau tidak sehebat cinta Zulaikha kepada Nabi Yusuf .. Tapi apa yang saya tahu, saya perlukan awak dalam hidup saya ..


~Syurga Cinta~
 

Cinta dan hati saya hanya untuk orang yang benar-benar ikhlas mengenali saya ..
Bukan untuk dipersendakan ..

Cinta itu adalah permulaan jodoh ..
Dan jodoh itu terbagi pade 3 ..
Pertama, jodoh dari Syaitan: Kamu berdua berkenalan, berpegangan tangan dan terus buat maksiat. Akhirnya dia hamil baru kamu menikahiya ..
Kedua, jodoh dari Jin: Kamu berdua berkenalan. Kamu sukakan dia tapi dia tidak menyukai kamu.
Kamu bomohkan dan sihirkan agar dia suka kepada kamu, dan kamu berdua menikah ..
Ketiga, jodoh dari Allah: kamu berdua berpandangan mata terus menusuk ke kalbu. Kamu terus meminangnya dan dia terima pinangan kamu. Dan kamu berdua menikah ..
Insyallah berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat. Dan itulah yang dikatakan 
Syurga Cinta .. 

Inilah aku apa adanya
Yang ingin membuatmu bahagia
Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
Sesempurna cintaku padamu

Ini cintaku apa adanya
Yang ingin selalu disampingmu
Ku tahu semua tiada yang sempurna
Di bawah kolong langit ini

Jalan kita masih panjang
Ku ingin kau selalu di sini

Biar cinta kita tumbuh harum mewangi
Dan dunia menjadi saksinya
Untuk apa kita membuang-buang waktu
Dengan kata-kata perpisahan

Demi cinta kita aku akan menjaga
Cinta kita yang telah kita bina
Walau hari terus berganti hari lagi
Cinta kita abadi selamanya

Dis is the first tym ever in my life i cried real bad and in fact cnt stop myself from crying juz bcz sumone who meant alot to me went off wif sumone else .. I wasnt expecting dis at all .. I ever once tot about him having a relationship wif sumone else and dats the reason he changed .. But i managed to throw dat tot away coz i believe he wont do dat .. But today i got to noe i was wrong .. And my tot was ryte .. I should have listened to my frst instinct and asked him from the very beginning wen he changed .. At least i wuldnt feel real bad like wad im feeling ryte now .. Im not understanding myslf ryte here .. I noe i got no feelings for him at the beginning .. But as days goes by maybe dat feeling developed wen i owaes tot bout him .. Well i have to admit dat i fall in love wif sumone easily .. Im easily touched by wad dey do to me even the smallest ting .. And the fact dat i fall in love easily, i get hurt easily too and same goes to dis, even the smallest ting can hurt me .. And i noe i have fallen for him soo wen i heard bout dat news definitely im crushed! .. And the worst part was i was having performance wen i heard bout the news .. Damn my face was a wreck .. My eyes got soo swollen from the crying and no matter how i try to smile i juz simply cant .. not even faking it .. But thank god on the actual performance i managed to throw my sadness aside and focus on my performance .. Or else i will definitely ruin evryting ..
I can accept it but i guess i need a whole lot of time to heal dis heart .. Especially wen i have to see the gurl's face every lecture and knowing dat she's the one who got his heart instead of me .. I will definitely have a lot of hell trying to forget him .. Seeing the gurl's face will onli bring evryting bck to me even if i manage to forget it .. Why do i have to have dis heart who falls for people easily? .. I hated being me!! .. If im firm wif my own feelings i wuldnt have gotten hurt lyk dis .. Instead i wuld have hurt sumone .. But hell no .. Each time i got hurt .. And i have to say dis is the 2nd time .. 2 times consequtively! .. I aint strong .. I have had it wif boys .. No more miss nice lady .. Im officially closing my heart .. I cant bear to go thru dis shit one more time .. Im onli reserving me heart for him no matter wad .. I dont care! .. Der's owaes god who's der to help me and i will pray hard for me to get him bck .. Call me desperate, call me wadevr u wan coz im onli doing dis in a legal way .. Its onli by praying to god and i noe its not a wrng ting to do .. Im not even doing anyting bad here ..